Friends and Homophobia

Several times in the past I've talked about the television show Friends and it's bizarre representations of masculinity and homophobic nature behind some of its jokes and plots (One here, the other here). Now that the show has come to UK Netflix, a lot of other people seem to be noticing some of the more...dated humour. Not sure how they didn't notice before, the show has literally never left UK television. Regardless, it's something that I've criticised in the past, but was mostly baffled by. Friends, a show created by a gay man and a woman, somehow has two lead characters who constantly make jokes about non-masculine or hetero-normative scenarios. They're literally left baffled and uncomfortable at even the idea of homosexuality or men behaving femininely. In the first season Chandler is offended that people first think he's gay because he has "a quality" and 8 seasons later, Ross fires a Male Nanny--even though they're good at their job, he finds it "weird".

But is there a reason behind it? Let's actually analyse these characters and take a look at why they behave this way. In the same episode where Ross fires the Male Nanny-Sandy-he mentions that a lot of this comes down to the way his father treated him as a child, getting angry and judgemental of him whenever he would do anything that didn't go along with what a "real boy" would do. Granted, this doesn't sound at all like the person we know Jack Geller to be, but for the benefit of the doubt, let's assume that's what he was like several decades ago. This would certainly explain Ross' obsession with appearing masculine, even though he's really not. As for his views on homosexuality, well, his ex-wife turned out to be a lesbian, that gotta sting. That being said, most of his more erratic behaviour isn't aimed at homosexuality, it's aimed at masculinity, things like him not being comfortable taking a nap with a man, or hiring a male nanny. But he also has no problem wearing pink clothes, putting on make-up or using beauty products...wow Ross is such a hypocrite.

Chandler on the other hand, his homophobia is a lot more blatant, and comes from a much more obvious place. Chandler himself has admitted most of his problems originates with his parents divorce. His smoking addiction, fears of commitment, even using humour as a defence mechanism. So, it makes logical sense that this key event in his life, where his father left his family to go off and become a gay burlesque cross dressing dancer in Las Vegas-which Chandler has also said he had to partake in growing up-would very much leave some deep seeded issues. He's estranged from his father and even avoids him at all costs, it's understandable if this sub-consciously built in his homophobic tendencies, especially if he constantly gets mistaken as gay, probably worried that he might end up like his father. Side note: Is the fact Chandler's dad is supposed to be a male cross dresser yet is played by a woman offensive as well as confusing?

Meanwhile you have a character like Joey, who was raised in a mostly female household, has always expressed his sexuality healthily, is perfectly comfortable in his masculinity and will kiss men, wear women's clothing, and in his own words "Totally okay with the gay thing (It was the 90s)", and he almost never partakes in homophobic humour, and is the only one of the guys who is ever allowed to be portrayed as actually masculine.

I'm not trying to justify their behaviour, I'm just trying to understand it. I don't think it intentionally comes from a place of malice on the side of the writers, after all, you look at the only prominent gay characters in the show: Susan and Carol, they're not portrayed as stereotypes, nor is the audience meant to judge them for their sexuality. A lot of the character's behaviour you could argue as just being because it was the 90s, but I think that's a rather weak excuse, instead, it's much more likely that it was an intentional and realistic character trait for the two to have. While it's sad that they never truly get called out for their attention, they're still clearly in the wrong and we're never meant to side with them for their behaviour. Except for Joey, always side with Joey, because Joey is the best.

-Danny