Left Behind Analysis

Left Behind was released on Valentine’s Day in 2014, 9 months after the initial release of The Last of Us, it follows two stories, cross cut at random intervals, the main plot is a prequel to the initial story, showing Ellie reunited with her best friend Riley as the two sneak into a mall to have one last adventure before Riley is shipped off the next morning, as the two spend the night together, their true feelings begin to show when their time is cut short when they are attacked by infected and Riley is killed. While the second story takes place in-between the Autumn and Winter sections of the initial game while Joel is mortally wounded and Ellie searches through a nearby mall, hoping to find the medicine to help him. The two stories, though not sharing any story based similarities aside from both being set inside malls, do have a lot in common thematically. In the original game, Ellie says that her greatest fear is to end up alone and it’s expanded upon here, showing the two people in her life that she cares about and how one is taken away from her and how she fights to keep the other.

The idea of us as the audience growing to care about Riley is a difficult one seeing as she has a pre-determined faith, we know that she’ll be dead by the end of the DLC. Yet Naughty Dog managed to make us care for her because Ellie cares for her, the relationship between the two of them is believable and genuine thanks to some fantastic writing from Neil Druckmann and amazing performances between Ashley Johnson and Yaani King. Because we empathise with Ellie we understand how much she cared for Riley and thus we know how much pain she must be going through at the thought of losing Joel too, again, even though we already know his fate. But it goes further than a sense of empathy, when Ellie is looking for medicine it is the only time in the whole game when she is truly alone, even in the winter section where she has to fight against cannibals, unbeknownst to her, Joel is coming to save her, here, there is no one but her, that sense of solitude really sets in.

I hold one major belief in whether or not a DLC can be considered good, that being whether or not it adds to the story and characters, and Left Behind brings it in a way I never would have seen coming. Ellie is the greatest videogame character of all time in my opinion, she’s the one that feels the most real due to mix between realistic writing and again, an amazing performance by Ashley Johnson, this is easily the most diverse and greatest acting job I’ve seen in a single role, I don’t see someone acting like a 14 year old girl, I see a 14 year old girl. Of course a fair amount of that praise also goes to the animators, adding the smallest amount of detail to her expressions and body language to make her movements feel completely natural, and through facial expressions alone you can read a lot into her character. What Left Behind does for her is show her in a new light by having her interact with someone her own age, her best friend, letting her be her silly, goofy and boldly expressive self with someone equally silly, goofy and boldly expressive. But of course there is more to it than that, the now famous kiss between the two characters, which actually does very little in terms of Ellie’s character development, with or without the kiss, she’s still the same person as is her relationship with Riley, nor does it add any new subtext or context for the main story in the game, for her personally it is a cute and honest moment of passion between two girls who love each other.

The real importance of this moment is actually much more substantial for gaming as a whole. Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years, women in the gaming community have been under a lot of flak recently, whether they be the characters in the game, the developers or the players. The most common argument amongst this controversy is the unrealistic standards of women in videogames, yet Ellie has received unanimous praise for being a great female character, and this moment only adds to that. Think long and hard about how many protagonists in a videogame that you’ve played are gay? Excluding games like Mass Effect where you chose your characters sexuality, but ones where you are required to play as a gay person? Now if you were able to think of a substantial number, how many of those characters were women?

What we here is a unique and ground-breaking moment in feminism and gaming and whether you want it to be or not, it is in fact a big deal, and I predict that decades from now when gaming culture can be more equal and developed (fingers crossed) this will be looked back on as a defining moment in all of gaming. And what makes it all the better is that it wasn’t an out of nowhere twist that was trying to trick its audience by saying “ohhh fooled you! You were playing as a lesbian the whole time!” but rather leave subtle hints around the game to put the thought in your head, so once the moment came, the reaction wasn’t of shock, but of success, as most people’s reactions were that of a “I knew it!” scenario.

So while a lot of this DLC certainly adds to the characters and themes of The Last of Us, does it do anything story-wise? Well that’s a rather subjective answer. The Last of Us has a very open ending that leaves itself up to interpretation, does Ellie know Joel was lying to her? If she does why did she go along with it? What does this mean for Joel? What does this mean for Ellie? What does this mean for humanity? Etc, etc. So whether or not this game ties into the main game depends on your interpretation of the ending, for me personally I feel like this game adds to the theory of Ellie seeing through Joel’s lie, and gives a plausible reason for why she complies with him.

As discussed, the major theme of this story is that of loneliness, Ellie loses Riley and nearly loses Joel. So think about the final statement Riley says to Ellie “We fight, for every second we get to spend together, whether it’s two minutes or two days, we don’t give that up” (this speech being intercut with her saving Joel) then tie that in with the final statement Joel gives to Ellie at the end of the main game “I’ve struggled for a long time with surviving, but no matter what, you keep finding something to fight for”. Both Riley and Joel share a similar philosophy of fighting to survive, not just for yourself, but for someone you can care about. A philosophy that Riley taught Ellie and Joel has re-enforced, giving Ellie the view that the life of the people you love is more important than your own. Ellie seems to have very little care of her own life, more than willing to sacrifice herself to the Fireflies in an almost euthanasia-esque manner. In the end, her going along with Joel now feels more for his benefit than her own, as if her sole value lies in making the people she loves feel better. Depressing I know, but also rather brilliant on Naughty Dog’s part.

Finally there is the gameplay, where the DLC is sadly lacking in this part when it comes to innovation. The original game already had pitch perfect gameplay so I didn’t go in expecting many changes, the only real major change is the inclusion is the hunters and infected being able to fight each other which is a nice inclusion. That and pointless tree branch options that add or change nothing about the game and seem especially pointless when the initial game never had any kind of tree branch. But with that being said, this game was never about the gameplay and it’s not what I remember. I remember Ellie & Riley goofing off in a costume shop, I remember them mocking the P.A. ladies voice, I remember them reading horrible puns together, I remember their conversations and I remember why I cared so much about these two in the first place.

Left Behind is the most intelligent and well-crafted piece of DLC that I have ever played, it’s use of themes and characters make it stand out above the rest and this 2 hour experience still holds more meaning than 7 instalments of a first person shooter could ever hope to. But does it beat the entertainment and satisfaction of Mass Effect 3’s Citadel DLC? Find out soon.

The Last of Us: Left Behind Vs. Mass Effect 3: Citadel

DLC has always split gamers down the line on whether or not they’re a fan of it, well, let me rephrase that, whether they think it has any merits. On one hand, it is a gateway to companies becoming even greedier and lowering the quality of their products under the intention of taking even more money out of their consumers’ pockets, showing the corruption of the community and industry as a whole. But then there are others who do see benefits for it, when done right it can lead to new and worthy content to established franchises and provide an even better experience because of it and in some cases fix problems with the core game. Mass Effect is a great example for literally all of these points, it is guilty of the corruption and manipulation of the system (From Ashes DLC) and also shows how it can add too and improve the initial story (Extended Cut DLC). However, when talking about the best DLC from the series, that distinction goes to the Citadel DLC, the very last piece of single-player DLC released for Mass Effect 3. There was a point where I considered it to be the greatest piece of DLC in all of gaming, but then The Last of Us of course had to match it with Left Behind.

It seems fitting that my two favourite videogames would also create my two favourite pieces of DLC, while it’s difficult to compare the two seeing as they serve different functions for both the game and the audience’s expectations, I do find myself in a constant struggle trying to decide which I think is better, so I feel a back-to-back analysis is in order, so for the next few days, i'm going to be analysing both DLC's and deciding which one is the best.

-Danny

My Favourite Characters - Tali

Yes I know I just did a Mass Effect post a few days ago but I really wanted to talk about it some more. I've already talked about some other characters in Mass Effect in this series (Thane, Legion, Grunt) but I haven't ever touched upon any of the big three, so here we go. Tali Zorah Vas Normandy is a young Quarian who is a skilled engineer, after helping Shepard in the fight against Saren she raises through the ranks of her people and goes from the shy young daughter of an admiral, to a respectable and fair admiral in her own right. Tali is often considered to be one of the best characters in Mass Effect, and at first, i didn't see why, I mean i loved her just as much as everyone else, but even then i didn't understand what it was about her that made her so appealing. But the more i thought about it, I soon realised that out of all of the Mass Effect crew, she is the one with the most development.

In the first Mass Effect game, she is a young adult on her pilgrimage, where young Quarians travel the galaxy to find their place in the world, after accidentally uncovering some dangerous information, her fellow Quarians are killed and she is mortally wounded, but that doesn't stop her from continuing to try and help prevent a disaster, even though the rest of the galaxy see Quarians as a lower life form. As I talked about in a prior post, the Quarians are not a very respected species, they created one of the most dangerous cybernetic species in the galaxy and are seen as scavengers, thieves, rats. So here we have a young girl, injured, alone in a strange place where no one will help her, criminals trying to find and kill her and yet she never stops moving, she is determined to find someone who will help, and low and behold, she meets Commander Shepard, who saves her life and then takes her under their wing. From then on, Tali has a place, she has a home and she has teammates who trust her and care about her, they protect her and she protects them.

Then we get to Mass Effect 2, several years later, Tali has now grown as a fighter and has been put in her own role of leadership, she has the respect she deserves, except from her own people. Her father breaks the law and as a result, multiple Quarian are killed and his family name is dragged through the mud, bringing Tali along with it. Tali and Shepard investigate and discover her father's recklessness is at fault, and even though the choice lies with Shepard, Tali's instant reaction is to take the fall for him, let him die a legacy and have Tali be the one to blame. Her instant reaction is protect those close to her, she doesn't care for her own name.

Then we get to Mass Effect 3, Tali is now an admiral in the Quarian fleet, an experienced warrior and an intelligent leader. While she may have been under Shepard's wing for the first two games and admired them from afar, she's reached that point where she can take charge on her own and be the ambassador for her people. So in the course of three games we see this shy, young, timid girl who was willing to go the extra mile become an admiral and ambassador for her people. She may not be the most experienced fighter, but she's a genius, she may not be respected amongst her peers but she is still caring, she starts off not knowing what her purpose is in the universe, and by the end it's clear. Tali has one of the best and most clear arcs in the franchise.

But there's more to her than that, in recent years, there has been a certain trend of characters growing amongst fiction that is usually defined as "adorkable" where characters (usually female) are cute and kind, but also have that element of goofiness and nerdiness that makes them appealing to all demographics. To put it simply, them being uncool makes them cool. And unlike most adorkable characters, there's nothing obnoxious about Tali being adorkable, she makes mistakes but they're never emphasised, she's really smart, but is never made fun of for it. Amongst the Normandy crew, she's just seen as a fellow crewmember, she's good at her job, has a moral compass guiding her, that's all she needs and that's what's given the focus on, not how "adorkable" she is. Though I will admit, it's always hilarious seeing Tali get drunk.

But then there is the love interest element of Tali. Personally, I never romanced Tali, I always saw her as Shepard's little sister rather than a love interest, but a lot of people like her as their romance when playing the game, and there is a very personal element to it. Tali is always wearing a mask, always wearing a body suit, and though she does have an appealing body and a cute tush, for all we know she could have huge blemishes and scars under it all...but i doubt most people view her that way. But even then, because this physical element is removed, there is more emphasis on her personality rather than physical attraction, the physical attraction isn't removed entirely, but has far less emphasis than some other characters in the series. And for some people that is an appealing relationship, the idea of you being the mentor, the guardian, Tali even says it herself that Shepard shows up like a knight on a white horse to save her. While some might see that as cliched, others see it as endearing and let's face it, it's not inaccurate. But what makes it work is that there is clear development in it, whether you romance her or not, Shepard is still a mentor to her and she does clearly have feeling for him, but like a mentor role should be, he does help her grow and learn, so by the third game, the relationship is on much more even grounds and she's clearly come into her own.

So considering all of this, it's not hard to see why Tali is a fan favourite, she has a great arc, a loveable personality and the relationship between her and Shepard, romantic or not, is a very endearing and believable relationship. She's a great character from a great series. Keelah Si'lai.

-Danny

So the Yu-Gi-Oh Theme Song is Kinda Awesome?

While most of the shows that I grew up with are still pretty awesome to watch, there are still that batch of shows that are not good, but i will still always love them as a guilty pleasure. Yu-Gi-Oh is one of those shows, why? Because it's a show about card games, dubbed by 4Kids of all people, of course it's not very good, but i grew up with it and spent a shit ton of time and money on playing the card game, so i'm always gonna be nostalgic for it. But there is one thing about this show that I legitimately think is really good, the theme song.

Listening too it again, I realise how much effort, composition and style went into this theme to make it as excellent as it is, it captures the Egyptian iconography that the show often used, has a funky beat to it and a dynamic hook to make you feel like something epic is going to happen. And for 4Kids to make it!? That's shocking, not to point fingers *cough* One Piece opening *cough*. It's stylized, it's memorable and it's probably the best thing to happen to the show since Little Kuriboh.

-Danny

A Random Rant

It has been over two weeks since I saw Mad Max Fury Road in cinemas and there's one thing that really really bugs me that I need to get off my chest, oh, it has nothing to do with the movie, the movie was great, it's the obnoxious douchebag that i ended up sitting next too. Now thankfully the theatre that I normally go to, people are relatively quiet or keep to themselves, and then there's this asshole who felt the need to act like an uptight film snob, commenting on every single goddamn trailer that was shown and i wanted to yell at him so much. So let's go through each trailer that was shown that he commented on and finally rebuttal him, because unlike this asshole, i keep my thoughts to myself while at the cinema so i sadly couldn't shout at him then and there and potentially punch him in the face.

Insidious 3
Well I hardly think a mother would haunt her own family

Oh you're right, they must have forgotten that there are clear and defined rules about ghosts that must never have any variation in any single way and everyone must play the expected roles!

San Andreas
Why would he go through so much effort to save one person?

Maybe because that's his job numbskull, also he's the fucking Rock, he saves everyone

Tomorrowland
George Clooney, what have you done to yourself, it looks so silly

First off, what the hell in the trailer made George Clooney look bad!? Secondly, "silly!?"..."Silly!?" You're here to see Mad-fucking-Max!! And you're complaining about a movie looking SILLY!?

Jurassic World
Steven Spielberg, you've officially ruined Jurassic Park...

This was the final one and fittingly, it's the one that got the most on my nerves. Firstly: He's just the executive producer, he most likely had very little say in the story, Secondly: he ruined this franchise with the second instalment, Thirdly: It's just the trailer, you don't know if the movie is going to be any good! For all you know it could be better than the first one so stop jumping to conclusions! And Fourthly: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

There were also trailers for Spy and Poltergeist, but the scrawny little shit knew to keep his opinions to himself on those films. So let this be a lesson to you all, if you have snooty or really any opinions on a movie or movie trailer, if you're sat next to complete strangers who don't care about your opinion, remember to shut-the-fuck-up.

-Danny

The Impracticality of Practical Effects

If you know anyone with any amount of interest in filmmaking or the practises of filmmaking, if you were to bring up the discussion of CGI, at somepoint someone will say "practical effects are always better" and there is a lot of reasoning behind that. Practical effects have a less likely chance of looking dated because the effects are physically there so they are always going to look real, while CGI, even from as early as 10 years ago look dated by today's standards, not all, but a fair amount do. Also the physics of a practical effects movements are more accurate, again, because they're actually there, with CGI, a lot of guess work and statistics have to go into making the effect look natural, but it doesn't always work. Take for example The Hulk in Avengers Age of Ultron, there are times when him jumping around looks like he weighs the same amount as a balloon, because it's hard to get it accurate. Now there are two types of people who support practical over CGI, the realists and the purists. The realists know that there are times where you have to use CGI, again, The Hulk is a great example, there is no way to make that a practical effect and have it be nearly as effective (Puns!). While the purists believe that practical is always the way to go 100% and it will always look great, which is not true, just look at Lou Ferrigno's physical Hulk versus the computer generated Hulk, it's obvious which one is the better version, both in terms of adapting the character and making them look like an unstoppable juggernaut.

So I have always considered myself to be a realist when it comes to practical effects, if you can use em, then use em, it may cost more but it'll improve your movie as a whole. But then I saw the movie Labyrinth, directed by Jim Henson. which i have always heard looks amazing due to the practical effects and the amount of effort used, so i was really excited and boy did the effects underwhelm me. Now the rule still applies here that practical effects were the right way to go, after all, what little CGI is in the movie, looks terrible, but that doesn't instantly make the practical effects good, and this is a principal law that people have forgotten, having a practical effects isn't enough, it also needs to be a convincing practical effect. When I watch The Thing or Gremlins 2 or Hellboy or even another Henson production Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, i think the practical effects look amazing and i legitimately believe that what i am looking at is really there. Because that is the purpose of having effects in the first place, to make us believe that whatever we are looking at is real, and Labyrinth doesn't have that. Whenever I look at the puppets, i'm always aware i'm looking at a puppet, when i'm looking at someone in a costume, i'm always aware i'm looking at someone in the costume. It's the same issue that CG has, if i'm aware that i'm looking at an effect then it's a bad effect.

Some people would argue that practical effects require more effort, and i think that's offensive to effects artists who work on CG, have you ever actually seen how many people work on those effects and how long it takes? Don't act like practical effects takes more effort to make cause in reality they take roughly the same amount of time to produce. It does seem like a lot of the praise for these type of films that does have a focus on practical is really there just more of a participation trophy rather than actually being convincing effects.

So in my eyes, when it comes to practical effects and cgi, there are three rules to consider:

ONE: If you can use practical effects, use them

TWO: Sometimes CGI is the better route

THREE: A practical effect is not the same as a convincing effect

-Danny

Was Jaden Smith Just Confirmed As Static Shock--No, shut up.

There have been rumours spreading recently that Jaden Smith is confirmed to play DC Superhero Static Shock and of course the Internet flipped its lid at this. He's a terrible actor! Fuck off! Warner Bros have made a serious mistake! well you'll be happy to know that he's not going to play Static Shock? How do I know this? I don't. What are my sources? None. But everyone seems to be believing one random guy who has no inside knowledge at DC or Warner Bros, so i figured i could get away with an equal amount of credibility. Now i know that people are trigger happy when it comes to rumours and it's not your fault because a lot of news reporters post these stories as facts for clickbait reasons, but i have to say, if you believe this rumour then you're an idiot.

The source where this rumour started from was actor/rapper Tyler James Williams said in a random interview when discussing black people in superhero roles he stated I don’t know...What you’re talking about. But yeah no, it’s great to see Static Shock is happening with Jaden. and from that people believe this to be true. A guy who is not involved in any upcoming superhero projects, especially DC projects randomly said Jaden is Static Shock. If you for some reason think this makes it official, you really are an idiot. It would be like if Kevin Hart said that Louis C.K. is going to be the next Riddler, there is absolutely zero reason why we should believe he would know. And for the record there are currently no plans for a Static Shock movie in the works, or at least none that have been announced by Warner Bros. But for the sake of argument, let's say Warner Bros was making a Static Shock movie, they would not cast Jaden Smith because A: He's not a bankable actor B: He's not a good actor and C: he would not be a popular choice with their target audience. There is no reason why they would cast him in this role, and the backlash that this "story" has received would be the final nail in the coffin.

So i'm going to put this very simply...

STOP BELIEVING EVERYTHING YOU READ

-Danny

The Religious Themes & Symbolism of Mass Effect

Mass Effect is a videogame swimming with deep themes and symbolism all wrapped up in a great story with awesome characters, entire worlds and cultures created and developed in this 100+ hour experience, and one of the elements that often flies under the radar is the theme of religion. Almost every character, story point, species, will have some religious belief or opinion, and it's worthy discussing. The first and possibly the most effective in terms of symbolic religious metaphors is Christianity and the Reapers, basically put, the whole thing is a story about humanity overcoming religion. This can be first noted with all the Christian references in the game, the Lazurus Project, Cerberus, I Am Legion-for we are many; it's all over the place, but it goes further than that. Let's go back to the start, by that i mean, the start of man. According to the bible, it all started with Adam and Eve (Also worth noting the character of Eve in Mass Effect 3, as Mordin puts it "seems appropriate") who eat from the tree of knowledge and gain the ability of independent thought, to which God responds to kick them out of Eden and leave them to die, because if they were to also eat from the Tree of Life then they would gain immortality, and to have both, is to become god (according to the scripture). God stopped them just as they were reaching their evolutionary peak, just as the Reapers perform in Mass Effect, destroying all evolved life just as they reach a certain point in evolution. But this isn't a story just told about the Reapers, but also with the Geth and the Quarians.

The Quarians invented the Geth to make their lives easier, once the Geth begin to become self-aware, the Quarians see them as a threat and try and destroy them, all because of the one sentence "does this unit have a soul?". The Geth work with the Reapers, or as they refer to them "The Heretics" as a form of protection, believing it to be the way they upgrade themselves to become independent creatures, but as it turns out, they were the false Shepard (Get it?) offering them a lie, they only truly achieve their independence when they remove themselves from the Reapers and work alongside the Quarians. Another way how the Reapers present themselves as a representation of god is through the belief of Nihilism, in other words, we're lead to believe that without god, we resort to chaos, we're not ready for the responsibility of ourselves and we would lead to our own demise, the exact same logic the Reapers work on, but of course the Geth are proof that it doesn't have to be the case. Another idea that supports this is the Starchild saying "the created will always rebel against the creator", this is what the Quarians fears and it is what happened to God, not only has humanity in a post-modern era turned their back on this system, but even God's child Lucifer defied him, wanting to be his equal and overcome him. One of the defining traits of a post-modern era is the defiance of Meta-Narratives, that humanity lives off one defined rule, and for our advanced Western Culture, the rule was of Christianity, but these days it's more common to not have Religion than it is to have one. And this is one of three ways the Mass Effect defies the Meta-Narrative, wanting to destroy the cycle of the gods deciding what's best for us, to overcome the Reapers is to overcome the Meta-Narrative of religion. And the second and more obvious way would be the fact that it's an RPG, we decide our character's destiny destroying the Meta-Narrative both physically and thematically. The final way also ties into the theme of diversity, no one belief system or mindset ends up being right in the end, it's a combination of everyone's skills and assets that save the day, disrupting the status quo and having everyone put aside their differences for the greater good, Turians and Krogan's working together, Quarians being viewed as equal to the Asari, humans having a place in the high council, destroying everyone else's Meta-Narratives for the sake of a combination of the group.

If you want even more detail on Mass Effect and Christianity then I highly recommend the video by Sole Porpoise on the manner, it's what inspired this debate and is definitely worth checking out: WATCH HERE

But that's just one religion in a very expansive series, let's take a look at this from other perspectives. Another idea presented in Mass Effect is that who we see as gods are only gods because of their age, the Hanar see the Protheans (And extinct species) as gods because our technology was based off of what was left of their culture and thus they were seen as incredibly advanced. But when we actually meet one, we see that they were very similar to us, if anything else they were less advanced for a reason already touched upon. Because they were the most advanced species and were the dominant life forms, everyone lived by their rule and values, they lacked diversity in their ranks and were easily overcome by the Reapers because of it. So why were they seen as this great enkindler? Because they were old enough to be, to quote the great Bill Murray of Groundhog Day "Maybe he's not omnipotent. He's just been around so long he knows everything.".

While the Krogans have a very basic view on life, they believe what they can see and touch. When you live as part of a species in a perpetual state of endangerment, you tend to lose all hope and are much more skeptical on the idea of faith, thus they go by the facts, and the closest they have to diety is Kalros, also known as "The Mother of all Thresher Maws". Basically put, she's a damn big worm big enough and old enough to eat an entire city. The Krogan are also a species that admire strength, they decide their leaders on who is toughest, and Kalros is so tough she even has a shrine dedicated to her.

The Salarians, as a species of pure logic and science, you can imagine don't really have much in terms of spirituality, that is except for Mordin, who still applies to the ideas of logic and science but also still has a moral compass guiding him. After releasing the Genophage on the Krogan's, he turned to Spirituality for answers and comfort, eventually taking a great admiration on Karma based religions like Buddhism, and this is fitting for his character, looking for guidance in a system that doesn't work on acts of morality to please a Deity, but acts of mortality to improve the quality of the world for the next generation of life, a system that co-operated with Mordin's personal views as well as his scientific prowess.

But the most interesting religious symbolism to look at is the Quarians identification with Muslims, not through a spiritual point of view, but a social one. The most basic sign would be the similarities in clothing, both cultures tend to cover their bodies entirely, especially with hoods/cloaks. But also how they are viewed by other cultures. The Quarians are seen as a lower form of existence and often shunned unjustly by society and are the isolated foreigners in a galactic nation, note that they're the only species with an accent when everyone else is American (somehow). Which seems rather similar to a post 9/11 American view on the Muslim culture, unjustly prosecuted for crimes they didn't commit and shunned because of this prejudice.

And this is all just one of the many themes in Mass Effect that can be deconstructed when analysed indepth that just make this a highly intelligent series and one of the greatest videogames of all time.

-Danny

The Lizzy McGuire Movie - Cheap Thoughts

When I was a kid, Lizzy McGuire seemed to be the only show on Disney channel that was targeted towards girls but it was okay for boys to watch, and because i had an older sister, this is what was most likely on television, and when the movie came out, you can imagine i was made to watch it a hundred times (not that i minded). But even back then i knew there was nothing special about it, so what are my thoughts on it as an adult? The Lizzy McGuire movie takes place inbetween seasons 3 & 4 and follows Lizzy going on a school trip to Italy where she meets a handsome Italian popstar Paolo, as it turns out, Lizzy looks exactly like Paolo's old singing partner Isabella, so he convinces her to join him onstage, pretending to be her. Thus Lizzy gets to experience her dream vacation in Italy with the boy of her dreams.

So the plot itself is paper thin, it's a Disney movie based on the TV show, in fact the only thing that makes it feel like a movie is that they actually shot on location in Rome. But apart from that, the film is quite basic, nothing special in terms of story, acting or comedy, but that being said that doesn't make it bad, just servicable, and there is still plenty to be enjoyed. The teacher for example Ms Ungermeyer is insanely enjoyable, as well as simple-minded Ethan who seems to be interested in nothing more than eating spaghetti (Admittedly this is my favourite recurring joke in the film). Also the hotel manager with the over the top accent is very funny (Disney seems to like comedic hotel managers) The movie is clearly set in this unrealistic fantasy where an average girl can meet a hunky popstar and then end up seeing live infront of millions in front of a colosseum. I say this is ridiculous because Lizzie is clearly written as the everygirl, she's quirky, makes mistakes but has a good heart, she's an enjoyable character who young girls can relate to but also idolize at her sucess. And no, they never actually acknowledge anything that happened in the film in the show, despite the fact that an average girl ending up singing in front of millions of people would probably end up being talked about. Also i don't like how Lizzie's best friend Miranda is shoved aside in the film, they also did that to her in the series finale which is weird, why don't they like Miranda? I mean i don't think she's a great character or anything but still, she's a major supporting character. And if you're not a fan of early 2000's Disney cliches then be afraid, be very afraid, you could make a drinking game out of the soundtrack alone for how much it screams 2000's pop music.

But that doesn't change the fact that i do very much enjoy the movie, yes it's incredibly goofy, but it's also fairly innocent and a little bit nostalgic, Lizzie McGuire is a likeable character (Though Hilary Duff's Italian accent is really bad), her best friend Gordo is sympathetic and kind. The finale, as cheesy as it is, i still sing along too (yeah i said it, come at me bro). The film has decent comedy and comedic characters, if you never watched the show then i say stay away from this film, but then again you might find some enjoyment how stupid it is, if you were a fan of the show then i highly recommend it, and if you were a fan of both as a kid, then i'd say it's worth rewatching. But something worth praising is Lizzie McGuire as a character and her actress Hilary Duff, she's supposed to be the relatable everyday girl for people to relate to and whenever Disney has tried this, they fail hard, but they handle it really well with Lizzie, she's got a lot of good qualities but is still a screw up, she's attractive but she's not "Hollywood attractive" and let's face it, Duff is one of the few Disney pop stars to not become a washed-up meglomaniac (Lookin' at you Hannah Montana). I give The Lizzy McGuire movie a 7/10.

-Danny

Dawn of the Planet of the Women in Film

Arguably the most prominent debate in Hollywood is diversity and representation, or to put it in more basic manners, women are getting screwed over; and thanks to the power of the internet, Hollywood finally seems to be listening, after all, just look at the three big films in theatres right now. Pitch Perfect 2, Mad Max: Fury Road and Tomorrowland, all three of which have significant roles for women.



Pitch Perfect 2 is probably the most prominent, being a female lead comedy, directed by Elizabeth Banks and also making the most money out of the three of them. While Mad Max: Fury Road, an R Rated Action film has been praised for it's well developed and diverse range of women of multiple races and ages, and above all else there's Furiosa who most would say is the best character (I agree) for being the most developed character as well as having great action skills and a role of leadership. Tomorrowland is a family friendly adventure film featuring Casey Newton, a non-sterotypical science genius in the lead role, as well as Athena, a young female robot who performs most of the action scenes and for a good third of the movie, it is just the two of them.














Basically put we have a diverse range of genres, characters and audiences in these movies, each one targeting a different demographic and having completely different stories with minimal sterotypes, okay Pitch Perfect has stereotypes, but none of them are female centric stereotypes. Now am I saying that this is the end of sexism in Hollywood? No, i'm still waiting for that Black Widow action figure dammit! But all i'm saying is, here we have three movies of such a wide range of roles, all critically acclaimed, commercial successes and released back to back is a victory that is worth noting and hopefully will lead to more films giving women a chance. Combine this with the most bankable actors right now are Jennifer Lawrence, Melissa McCarthy and Scarlett Johannson, and superhero shows/films are finally catching on with Supergirl, Jessica Jones, Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel, i'd say we're finally starting to see some progress here.

-Danny

The Furious 7 Ending is Perfect

The Fast & Furious movies are sort of a mixed bag, all of them have something fun to offer, but at the same time are swimming with problems, Furious 7 is no exception, the story is utter crap, the pacing drags and there is not nearly enough Dwayne Johnson. But the movie does something well that very few movies do, it's tribute to it's main star. Paul Walker died halfway through filming which caused them to do some serious script changes and reshoots in order to compensate and personally they handled it really well, the plot was terrible, but in no way was it because of anything to do with Walker's character (Brian).

*Spoilers Ahead*

A major story point in the film is the idea of "one last ride" that Brian needs one more massive thrill before he can settle down with his family, and he gets just that, after taking on the biggest case of their life, Brian finally gives up the life of an anti-hero and settles down with his wife and kids. As him and his family play on the beach, the rest of the crew look on with pride and Dom (Vin Diesel) gets up and drives away without saying goodbye, only for Brian to catch up with him at a stop sign and go for one last ride together. As Dom narrates on the importance of family as Wiz Khalifa's 'See You Again' plays in the background and the two go their separate ways with Brian driving off into the sunset, followed by a montage of Walker's best moments and then ending with the simple phrase "For Paul".

There have been plenty of movies where the main star has died halfway through filming and the film has to compensate for it, and end it in memorial for them, but Furious 7 takes it one step further by nearly breaking the 4th wall in a tribute to him, but with this feeling of "we don't care, Paul was our friend and our brother, he deserves this". The recurring theme in the Fast & Furious movies are that of family, and you get that both on and off screen, if you see the actors reactions to Paul's death, you know these people were legitimately friends and saw each other as family. This movie had one goal in mind, to pay their respects to Paul no matter the cost. They gave his character the happy ending he deserves and paid tribute to Paul, a man who meant the world to them and they didn't care about how the rest of the movie was, just as long as they could get this one scene right. And they did.

-Danny

The Flash "Fast Enough" Review

I really don't know where to begin with this, all i can really say is...wow. This is 'Fast Enough' the season one finale of The Flash, where Eobard Thawne convinces Barry that if he breaks through the time barrier once again, he can save his mother, and Thawne can go home, but they run the risk of destroying the entire timeline and the universe in doing so. After talking it over with everyone he knows, Barry agrees to do it, save his mother and get rid of Thawne, but, once he arrives back in his timeline, he chooses not to go through with it. Once returning, Barry fights against Thawne, until Eddie shoots himself in the chest, killing himself and thus Eobard. The episode ends with a singularity opening above the city and beginning to destroy the city, and eventually all of existence, Barry jumps in hoping to stop it and...cut to credits.

A whole lot of this episode was build up, that's it, just people talking about what is right and what is wrong, the repercussions and implications caused with Barry's decision (Never actually diving into the paradox that it would cause, but hey, wibbly wobbly) and i couldn't have loved it more. The big argument for why Barry should do this is that he has saved so many people, yet the one person that he wants to save more than anyone is his mother, but he doesn't know if the risk is worth it, so he asks everyone he knows, he asks Joe, he asks Henry, Cisco, Caitlin, Iris, Dr Stein, Ronnie, and everyone seems to be all for it, yet he still has that level of hesitation, and only one opinion matters, his own. In what may be the best exchange in the entire show, Barry locks eyes with his future version, and he simply shakes his head, asking him to not do it, and that's all you need. Who's going to know exactly how you feel and know better for you than yourself? But because it's a different version of you, they still have an exterior perspective, it's the best of both worlds, and you don't need them to have a long drawn out conversation about it, all Barry needs is that simple head movement to know what he needs to do.

Which then leads us to what could be the most emotional scene in the show, Barry comforting his dying mother, knowing he can do nothing for her except let her know that he's okay, that everything is going to be okay. The most emotional scenes in this episode, and the show overall, are Barry with his parents. His conversation with Henry about whether or not he should go through with it was incredible, Henry tells him it's a bad idea, yes he won't be in jail and his wife would still be alive, but if there is any possibility that Barry is going to become a different person, Henry wouldn't allow that for a second, he's the man he's supposed to be. Which is true, Barry Allen is a hero, not The Flash, Barry; saving people's lives is one thing, but that motivation and dedication is what makes it heroic, he has always put his life on the line, he is always thinking about other people first, always giving 100%, in truth you can see how proud Henry would be of him, how any father would be. Then there's Joe who looks at things from an equally valid perspective, he wants Barry to be happy more than anything, even if he's not his real son, that doesn't change the fact that he sees him as one, he understands that a life of being a hero often means sacrificing your own happiness, he's a cop, he's had to go through that, but that doesn't mean Barry has to.

Barry is everything Oliver Queen isn't, he listens to other people's opinions and knows that it's okay to rely on other people, but above all else, being a hero isn't about what you can do for yourself, but what you can do for others, no matter how big or small. The Flash is one of my favourite superheroes and this show has done a fantastic job portraying him, but of course none of it would work if it wasn't for Grant Gustin in the role. I've said before that i don't think Grant can do angry very well, even here, when he says the line "i want to kill you so much" i just don't buy it, i don't believe this man is capable of murder. But i've also never given him the credit he deserves for not only doing a great job in the role, but as an actor in general. He's able to pull off the quirky and boyish charm with ease, that seems to be his greatest strength, but where he really shines through with his acting is in the emotional moments, the scenes i just talked about are perfect examples of that, his conversations with his mother and father, you can see every emotion going through his head, the pain, love, anger and sadness that he's experiencing all at once, he completely makes me believe that this is a man going through unbelievable anguish. Grant Gustin to me is the best actor on any superhero show on television, he perfectly represents this character and makes his as dimensional and fully-rounded as a character should be.

Then there's the next big character pay-off, Eddie's death, which is both understandable yet predictable. Eddie is so far the most expendable character in the show, i mean i very much like him, but i've been expecting since episode one that he was going to die, but that doesn't mean they didn't handle it well. Thawne gets in his head that he's going to achieve nothing in life, and Dr Stein convinces him to take control of his own destiny, be the man he wants to be; and seeing as Barry isn't fast enough to beat Thawne, that leaves Eddie with all the power, one last fuck you to the man who said he'd be forgotten, he ends it all, kills himself and the entire Thawne timeline in the process, getting to be a hero and also taking control of his own destiny. But even with all that, my mind knows that they killed him off because they want to put Iris with Barry, and if Eddie isn't with Iris then let's face it, he has no real use in the show (Hm, just like Iris).

And seeing as he's dead and we're probably not going to be seeing much of him, let's talk about Tom Cavanaugh as Dr Harrison Wells A.K.A. Eobard Thawne A.K.A. The Reverse-Flash. I love this villain so much, Cavanaugh does an amazing job portraying him, able to play the sophisticated genius in the first half and then the diabolical and homicidal monster in the second half, beating Barry both physically and mentally, predicting his enemies moves before they've even made them, and unlike Ra's Al Ghul it makes sense here because he's a genius with cameras everywhere and he's from the future. But the reason why he's a good villain is because he always has a plan, all the way through, no matter what he was doing or what anyone else was doing, his threat was always present, even when he's in a jail cell. The Reverse Flash was an amazing villain, i hope they bring him back someday, even just for a cameo and i don't know how they're going to top it for next year.

But i'm not sure what the purpose was in ending it with the singularity and Barry trying to stop it, and granted we're not going to know until September so it's hard to judge it for now because it might end up having a great closure, but i just have a feeling that they're going to solve that problem in the first 5 minutes, Barry will be a little bit faster and then move on with the new story, but again, we'll have to wait until September to find out. Also they never actually acknowledge the whole paradox situation that would be caused with a lot of their decisions here, if Barry's mother never dies then all the events in motion here would never have happened thus he would never have the motive for travelling back in time, and the same with Thawne dying, if he never existed the Eddie would have never shot himself, yes time travel is confusing and almost no movie will get it right but still, at least try.

Finally there are the set ups for season two, the first one being Cisco is revealed to be a meta-human, speaking of which, finally! They gave a reason why he can see into the previous timeline! But that's really all we got for that, but hey, it's a set-up, i'm sure that we'll see the full extent of his powers in next season. Ronnie and Caitlin are married now and as far as i'm aware i believe Ronnie is now a main character for the next season meanwhile Dr Stein is going over to Legends of Tomorrow. Seeing as Eddie is out of the way i would imagine they're going to get to work on Iris and Barry...yay. Finally there was Eddie's corpse getting sucked into the singularity, so he's gonna come back somehow through the power of science, who knows, maybe they're make him the next Reverse-Flash.

This was an amazing season finale, the emotions drove the actions the way it should be, everyone gave their A-game for the acting and i was engaged from beginning to end, i'm giving the season finale of The Flash a 10/10.

The first season as a whole was excellent, they have done a really good job at writing these characters, the dialogue is entertaining and the main storyline was engaging all the way through, the only problem of course is Iris, so i'm giving the first season a 9/10.

-Danny

Changes I Want in Marvel Comics

If you aren't aware, Marvel is currently going through an event called Secret Wars which is going to change the Marvel Universe entirely. To put it simply, Marvel Comics has multiple universes, the two main ones being the Marvel Universe (Earth 616) and the Ultimate Universe (Earth 1610) and in this storyline, all of the universes are colliding together and in the end we are going to have just one universe, an entire reboot of continuity. They're doing this for several reasons, one: to help entice new fans, new continuity means you don't have to worry about prior stories and events in the comics making it the perfect point to come onboard. Two: A fresh start for writers, because even they have hard times keeping up with all the continuous storylines going in in the Marvel Universe and Three: to resemble the movie universe even more, so if someone loves the films and decides to read the comics, they don't have to worry about the characters and stories being too different.

Really i am all for this because Marvel really needs this, they've already been messing with the status quo over the past few years that is just makes more sense to start a new...quo. And it means that we can see characters get fresh starts and maybe even do something different with them, because I am sick to death of characters repeating certain trends and cliches, so here are some changes that I want to see made in the new Marvel continuity.

Get Rid of the Mutant Prejudice
Humans having a prejudice against Mutants is one of their most defining themes and is often a social commentary on our society, whether it be blacks, gays or whatever culture is being repressed of the time. The problem is, this view doesn't make any sense from a story perspective; superheroes are (for the most part) beloved amongst the general population and they have a lot of trust and respect for them. The idea of the one quality that changes a person's perspective on them is whether they were born with their powers or received them through an external source doesn't make any sense, they've even made fun of this in the comics, two characters who have the exact same powers, but because one of them is a mutant, that person is hated, it makes no sense. Some would say that this is the element that makes the X-Men unique in comparison to The Avengers and other heroes, but I feel that after this long, the X-Men can be used for a different purpose by now.

Sort Out Captain America & Iron Man's Relationship
Cap and Stark have always sort of been rivals, they very rarely see eye to eye with one another, at best they tolerate each other, at worst they start a civil war. Recently, what with the end of the world and all, Rogers and Stark decide "fuck it, gonna die anyway, might as well do what i've always wanted to do" and they go full out on each other, not fighting to wound, but kill, no real victory or purpose, just fighting. This feels like the pinnacle of where their relationship can go in this direction, so in the new continuity, maybe give them something else to do?

Keep Peter Parker an Adult
We've seen everything we can with Peter Parker as a teenager and frankly, that story is kind of boring nowadays, seeing Peter as an adult with his own company to run made him much more interesting and put him in a light we haven't really seen, keep it like that and let us actually see this character grow up into a man.

Kill off Namor
I don't like Namor...that's it, get rid of him.

-Danny

The Dream of a DC Musical Episode

I don't know if you know this, but the casts of both Flash and Arrow are wickedly good singers, in fact, here are a list of characters that I know are good singers in real life: Barry, Joe, Felicity, Roy, Cisco, Malcolm, Thea & Eddie. I don't know if the rest can sing or not, but these guys definitely can. Which leads me to my point, that next season of Flash & Arrow, there needs to be a crossover episode where they suddenly find themselves in a musical episode and they all start singing. Similar to Buffy or Scrubs, just a fun out of genre episode where people start singing out of the blue, and even have a little bit of a self-reflexive joke about it. Now you make be thinking But Danny, how exactly could they pull of such a strange set up for an episode? Well say no more, allow me to introduce you to: The Music Meister!

The Music Meister was a villain created in the cartoon Batman: The Brave & The Bold, where basically put, he has the power to make people sing. Bring him into The Flash, because they can get away with this over the top and comedic element, bring in the cast of Arrow and have them sing their hearts out for an hour in funny, musical goodness. And we have the perfect actor to play the role, the same guy who played him in the cartoon, the coolest man on the planet, Neil Patrick Harris.

Fact is, ever since Barry sung karaoke in that one episode, i've wanted him to sing more; after that video of Joe, Cisco & Eddie performing the theme to Firely, I wanted a Flash musical episode, and then seeing a vine of the Arrow cast singing Grease, i want one big crossover musical episode. They have an established villain with a great actor lined up to play him and the talent to back it up, come on DC, i want this more than anything! I'm beggin ya!

-Danny

School of Rock - Cheap Thoughts

I've talked about it before where for some reason, School of Rock ruled at my school, and i don't know anywhere else that had this, but everyone in my school was fucking obsessed with this movie, everytime we got to watch a movie, 90% of the time it was this film. Not to mention this movie introduced me to a lot of rock music as a kid and pretty much shaped my taste of music these days. So safe to say I kind of have a bit of connection to this film, but I realised that since i finished school i haven't actually seen this movie, so I decided to rewatch it and i've gotta say, the movie still holds up really well. *Spoilers Ahead* The film follows Dewey (Jack Black) a wannabee rockstar who poses as his roomate, a substitute teacher at a prestigious elementary school. At first looking for a quick pay cheque but once he realises the kids have a lot of musical talent and puts together his own band for a chance of stardom.

So I this is one of those movies of the early 2000's which has a really obsurd plot and really it only works because they got the right guy to play the role, and Jack Black is that guy. Dewey (Also known as Mr S) has such a passion for Rock that he lives and breathes it, of course he'd come up with an idea this batshit insane, and you buy it because...well it's Jack Black, the guy kinda does live and breathe Rock. I'm not even sure where he comes up with half of the ideas that he does, but man he just knows how to get people on his side. And taking the exploitation of children, fraudulent identity and multiple crimes broken that he commits, thinking about it he does a lot to help these kids. He gives them confidence to be who they are, he teaches them some good life lessons (Gets em into some good music) and really you have to admire the respect he has for these people. He doesn't judge any of them based on their appearance or personality (Minus the nicknames) for him it's all about the talent. The flamboyant kid says he wants to be the stylist, you got it fancy pants. The nerd says he doesn't think he's cool enough to be in a band, show him why his talent makes him the coolest kid in the school, girl has body issues, show her how many people have become legends despite body issues (Including himself) really he is a pretty good role model...again, criminal activity aside.

And do I have to mention how kick ass this soundtrack is? AC/DC, David Bowie, Stevie Nicks, Metallica, Led Zepplin, it fucking rocks! Hell, the original song they perform at the end really is rock'n'roll. And by the way, yes, all the kids are actually playing the instruments, because rock'n'roll is about being hardcore and stickin' it to the man! But what also makes a plot like this works is that while Dewey feels he's in the right, everyone else obviously realises how stupid and even a little psychotic all of this is, including Sarah Silverman's character, who we're ironically supposed to be against but really, she is in the right the whole time. Her boyfriend's slacker best friend is mooching off of him, is incredibly rude, puts his job on the line, exploits children, she's kinda justified in everything she does.

The film is also very funny, my personal favourite scenes are the kids insulting Dewey and Joan Cusack informing all of the parents that they're children are missing. Also there are a lot of little jokes in the movie that i've never really noticed, like when Dewey pretends the kids are terminally ill and they all pretend to be sick, one of them is already on the floor pretending to be dead, that is friggin hilarious.

Basically put, the movie doesn't have a revolutionary plot or a deep and introspective message, it's just a blast, a fun movie that is worth watching multiple times and I honest to god will love it until the day I die. 9/10.

-Danny