Spider-Man: No Way Home - Cheap Thoughts

Spider-Man is important to me. Let’s clear that up straight away, because to discuss this film without knowing my connection to the character feels like leaving out important context. I love Spider-Man, he might be the first fictional character I ever loved, all the way back to the 90s animated series and the original Raimi films. Heck, I’m a big defender of the Webb films, always have been, always will be, and yet I am one of the spoilsports who has to say I have never enjoyed the MCU Spider-Man films, on almost any level, they are poorly produced, bland looking and bad adaptations. So now we’ve reached a point where all these adaptations are clashing together and to break it down is still somewhat a behemoth of a task, let alone avoiding spoilers, but these are the cards we are dealt.

Spider-Man No Way Home is the first time I have ever truly seen Tom Holland as Spider-Man, as a person who puts others before himself, who has to make great sacrifices expecting nothing in return, who certainly stumbles and faulters but always gets back up and always does the right thing. This is no longer Iron Man Jr who inherits wealth, technology and prosperity from others, but one who has to fight and save others using only what he has to offer. He is put through the emotional ringer, but this is a story of Spider-Man trying to save everyone, and do the right thing, to understand the moral with great power must also come great responsibility.

If you’re aware of the returning characters from other films then you’ll be happy to know they are all wonderfully handled, it never feels like pure fanservice, but instead to offer a chance of closure to those who never had it before. Both the Raimi films and Webb films ended on disappointing notes but they also weren’t meant to be where those stories ended, this is where those characters get to finally have the proper goodbyes they always deserved. Even as I attempt to be a cynical critic, I can’t help but feel joy from what this film offers me.

Course that still won’t stop me from being said cynical critic, because boy does this film still look bad! Watts as a director has certainly improved his visual sense with each passing film, and there are certainly big special effects moments where the pre-vis team developed some entertaining and creative choreography mixing characters with different powers fighting each other, the conveyor belt release schedule of these films means the CGI just becomes worse and worse, no effect looking complete, everyone is rubbery and weightless, they move as fast or as slow as a computer tells them to with no consistency. It’s amazing that it’s reached a point where they achieve an uncanny valley effect on basic backgrounds because it’s all shot on greenscreens and never real locations. Even worse when it comes to the more intimate fight scenes Watts has no sense of editing or where to place the camera. When it’s real, you can’t get a good view of it and when it’s not real, it’s never felt hollower.

Glad I got that out of my system, but truth be told I enjoyed this movie, it’s the first of the MCU Spidey films that I enjoyed while watching it, and I am genuinely excited about where they’ll take this character in the future. I may be a cynic but even I couldn’t stop my heart growing three times while watching it. Tis the season.

-Danny