Uncharted - Cheap Thoughts

It’s hard to be excited for a feature when the disingenuous nature of its existence is presented right in its male lead. Nathan Drake is not the most complicated character in videogame history, really any white man with an obnoxious yet charming charisma could play him, and throw a stone in any direction in Hollywood and you’ll hit an actor with that exact persona. Thus the casting of Tom Holland shows right from the beginning this was never about faithful adaptation, but name recognition. The celebrity draw might be a smaller pool than it once was, but Holland is definitely a name that draws younger audiences, and he’s certainly provides plenty of entertainment to the screen, he is more the awkward funny man who thankfully is able to perform his own stunts than he is a Nathan Drake fit. Not to mention he has permanent baby face forcing this to be an origin story meaning the rest of the cast has to be infantilize along with it. Mark Wahlberg as Sully only solidifies this as name brand casting rather than accuracy, and just slap the Uncharted name on for brand recognition.

Uncharted as a videogame franchise was always more heavily targeted towards entertaining characters and big spectacle action scenes. What made it work was the talents of Amy Hennig’s direction and the wonderful chemistry of the cast as characters with established relationships who know each other well. So having that all undone with an entirely new cast all of whom don’t know each other so there are no established bonds and thus a lot of hesitancy and betrayal amongst the ensemble and there is so much back and forth of characters working together, betraying each other, working together again, all switching between them like a light. Trust is the theme of the day with this film, with its protagonist Nathan Drake (Tom Holland) being the only one willing to trust everyone as he’s new to the treasure hunting business while everyone else betrays one another with every other blink and hopefully along the way they’ll learn to trust except they don’t. These alliances change so rapidly with no clear momentum being built on who is friends with who that in the end people trust or don’t trust one another simply because the script says so, with no clear reason for the characters because no relationship is consistent enough to build a rapport.

As for the bombastic action scenes, likewise it is something that is lost but that is more due to changing of mediums. People have often said that Uncharted would work well as a film but truly that is only because structurally there is nothing too solidified in videogames as the only medium these stories could be told, however the spectacle is where it specialised. It’s one thing to watch Tom Holland on a green screen pretending to be thrown from a plane, it’s another thing entirely for you the audience to be the one thrown from a plane as you’re the controller of the narrative. That type of immediate empathy created so rapidly that only videogames can is what made Uncharted a success. You weren’t watching these great adventures, you were the one experiencing it.

Not to say films can’t have that kind of spectacle, they very much can, and this film had that opportunity, but sadly it was squandered. If Venom proved anything it’s that Ruben Fleischer is a mediocre director at best, but absolutely not someone who can properly handle a blockbuster size film. Considering the climax of the film has an absolutely absurd yet entertaining setting for an action scene, with the wonderfully talented Chung-hoon Chung as Director of Photography and a lead actor who famously does his own stunts and yet it is such a dull, lifeless and poorly sequenced action scene, as most of them are.

There is no spectacle to be found in this adventure film, no charisma to the found in its cast, no purpose in adapting this property. It is a soulless cash-grab so elegantly designed to grab as much of said cash as possible, if only it put that much effort into making a good film.

-Danny

Marry Me - Cheap Thoughts

How nostalgic. A simple mid-budget rom-com starring two decently popular celebrities in hopes of entertaining audiences for just under 2 hours, a staple of a bygone era. Even giving itself the increased absurdity of its premise, Marry Me is a charming romp that fulfils the basic desires sought out within its genre. Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez have decent chemistry even if it’s a relationship that is intentionally tricky to pull off, they are meant to be from “completely different worlds and not fit together except surprisingly they do” and that’s actually pulled off quite well without question. The majority of the film consists of scenes with them simply bonding and building this slow relationship from the absurd starting point as they get to know each other, better each other and make on another happy as all healthy relationships should do.

That starting point if you’re unaware is that J-Lo plays an international celebrity (So herself) who was supposed to marry her equally famous partner live during a concert, however he is caught cheating minutes before, so in a state of panic, humiliation, and confusion, she picks out a random member of the audience to marry him instead. That man just happens to be our leading boy Owen Wilson, a social media hermit who has no idea who she is, he was only in attendance for the sake of his preteen daughter, and him also now being thrust into a state of confusion goes along with it and they will try to build a relationship from there, so she doesn’t seem too insane to the general public. If you can accept that wildly silly premise, then you’re likely in for a charming time.

Despite tonally being very inline with a 2000s romcom, it does still take a modern approach with its story, very aware of the presence of social media in our everyday lives, and how much of pop-culture is centred around it. It has the power to turn an average joe into an international celebrity overnight entirely by accident, but it also becomes something you are chained too and can dictate how you run your life, you’re not actually living your life for you, you live it for the views. Wilson’s character not being online makes him somewhat of a modern-day caveman considering how little he knows about pop-culture and how social interactions has changed. The film doesn’t delve too deep into this para-social nightmare, that’s not it’s place, it uses it as a tool to show the difference of worlds Wilson and Lopez lives.

It’s cute. What else could you want? A charming film for Valentine’s Day to guarantee you’ve got something romantic planned.

-Danny

Belle - Cheap Thoughts

Hosoda has always had an interesting perspective when it comes to the internet, not only by having a unique visual language to present the digital space but how he presents both the positive and negative aspects of this young system that has changed societal culture on an international scale. Belle is a story of how we present our online personas, in this universe everyone’s persona is crafted for them based on their physical features and their personal strengths, to give them a second life and a second chance, however that version of them is merely a reflection, a fabrication, to truly grow you have to accept the lesser sides of you and find ways to embrace, grow or forgive them. Suzu (Kaho Nakamura/Kylie McNeill) is a timid and awkward teenage girl unable to come to terms with a traumatic experience early on in life, however in the world of ‘U’ the online space she is able to become a worldwide celebrity due to her beautiful singing voice while also benefit from the anonymity the internet provides, to hide her pain. That is until she comes across a Beast (Takeru Satoh/Paul Castro Jr.) who wears his trauma on his sleeve and makes it his entire identity. For both of them to better themselves they have to help each other find a middle ground, to neither ignore your trauma or be consumed by it.

There’s an emotional honesty to Belle, a fragility in every aspect, from the character animation, the performances and the music. It doesn’t hold back the darker aspects but it is by no means a dark film. This master of tone and presentation is something Hosoda has handled in the best of his films, and he often builds on what he has made in the past. There are certainly similarities to be found between his and his other films (Most notably his 2009 hit Summer Wars, which in itself was him remaking his work on Digimon) and yet it never feels lacklustre of half-baked. Even when he copies his own work, he works to make it better from the last, and even then, no one is doing it like Hosoda, it’s a style contained to his own filmography that you just don’t tire of.

What does become lacklustre is when he lifts from work besides his own. You probably already caught on to the direct references between this film and Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, and no, he’s not just referencing the classic tale, but making direct parallels to specifically the 1991 version. While the basic homage works to create a framework and strengthen the themes of the film, there are times where it becomes more indulgent and distracting that it actually takes away from the film. When the audience is no longer just thinking about this film but thinking about another film made by entirely different people and wondering why they’re watching someone’s sci-fi fanfic about it. Thankfully these moments are only a handful, so it doesn’t detract too much, but it’s a noticeable distraction.

With all that being said, Belle is another wonderful feature from Hosoda, the waves of emotion that wash over you will leave you long after the credits, it lives up to its title as a beauty.

-Danny