Spider-Man: Homecoming's Fear of Itself

*Spoilers for every Spider-Man film ahead*

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about why Spider-Man: Homecoming didn’t quite gel with me, after all, it was a good Spider-Man movie. Tom Holland is certainly strong in the role, Michael Keaton as Adrian Toomes was one of Marvel’s better villains. Hell, I didn’t even go into the film with very high expectations (Mostly due to an absolute garbage marketing campaign Sony did), I went in expecting it to be just okay…and it was just okay, so why did I leave the film only thinking about the bad stuff over everything else? I think it can be broken down to one simple thing: Fear. This movie is afraid of trying. I don’t know on who’s end but this movie is afraid to be anything other than safe, simple, disposable entertainment.

Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes we need disposable entertainment, something to keep us occupied for 2 hours and then move on with our lives, but this is Spider-Man, one of the greatest fictional characters of all time, he deserves more. So how does this movie play it safe? Simply put, nothing changes. Let me ask you, what was Peter Parker’s character arc in this film? He starts off thinking he’s hot stuff, just fought with/against The Avengers, assumes he’s gonna be asked to join the team any day now, then throughout the film he realises he’s not as great as he thought he was, gets his ass handed to him…only to in the end beat the bad guy, get offered a spot on The Avengers and suffers no loss whatsoever. That’s the problem, Peter starts off and ends up in the exact same spot in the film. If anything he’s in a better spot than he was before because he’s gained so much and lost nothing. Take a look at where every other Spider-Man film goes? Sam Raimi’s first film ends with Peter’s best friend hating Spider-Man, he has to break MJ’s heart even though he loves her, and-oh yeah-Uncle Ben is dead (I’ll get back to that in a minute). Second film, he does get the happy ending, but that’s only after the rest of the film kept shitting on him for the other 2 hours. Third film, he’s finally with MJ but it’s only after his best friend died. Amazing Spider-Man? Uncle Ben dies (Again) and so does Captain Stacey. Second ASM? Gwen Stacey dies. You know what those films have? Sacrifices, consequences, things going wrong for Peter.

Peter does make sacrifices in the film, but to no consequence. He has to ditch his friends in order to go save the day, but no one’s ever mad at him and he never misses much. Think about if they saved Ned finding out about Peter’s identity until after he has to ditch the party. His best friend mad at him for keeping secrets and betraying his trust. Or the decathlon team pissed at him for skipping out on the tournament? Every time it looks like they’re on the right track they back out and go “Well, we don’t want Peter’s life to be hard! People should wanna be Spider-Man and not feel bad for it!” Even though that’s the groundwork of the character. Because this film doesn’t want to acknowledge that Peter Parker became Spider-Man out of guilt. He sees himself as responsible for Uncle Ben’s death because he misused his powers. And this film just wants to forget Uncle Ben existed. Remember in this universe Peter’s been Spidey for roughly 10 months, less than a year since Uncle Ben’s death, yet there’s no mention of him, neither Peter nor Aunt May seems affected by this in anyway. Yeah, we’ve seen Uncle Ben’s death before, you don’t wanna show it again, but you can still acknowledge that he existed! That he left some kind of an impact! How much more impactful would it have been if when the sandwich deli that Peter goes too blew up and the owner died? Someone in Peter’s life is dead because he got cocky, because he wanted to show off while beating up the bank robbers instead of taking them out as quick as possible? Actual consequence for his actions that he can’t take back. Oh, you think Tony taking the suit back counts as consequences? Yeah not so much when he gets it back at the end of the movie because-pfft! Who wants to see change in our characters!?

This isn’t to suggest the film did a terrible job of portraying the character, because they didn’t. His look, his language, his movements, his dialogue, all felt very much in character. But this all feels very much like a hollow version of him. It’s like Ben Affleck in Batman V Superman, he looks the part, he sounds the part, he acts the part, but he doesn’t become the part because the people involved missed one of the essential aspects of the character. I want Spider-Man to feel guilty, I want to see him make sacrifices, I want to see him screw-up, I want him to feel human, and then I want to see him overcome those issues, come out the other side victorious, but changed. Spider-Man’s life should never be easy, but that’s why he’s a great hero, because he’s one of the few who will take life constantly crapping on him, yet still fight for what is right.

-Danny

Thomas Was Alone - Cheap Thoughts

Minimalism is something that’s hard to get right in storytelling, it’s a very thin line that means it’s easy for a storyteller to go too minimalist and not actually give all the details needed to understand-or even worse, care-about what’s happening. That is except for one medium where I think minimalism thrives and that’s videogames. I’ve always argued the gaming platform has some of the most untapped potential in storytelling because it has several advantages that no other medium does, its interactivity instantly helps establish a connection between player and character, meaning a videogame like The Last of Us can kill a character off within the first 20 minutes and have it be heart-wrenching because we were that character. Because of this I think a lot of videogames can get a lot done with a lot less. Shadow of the Colossus doesn’t explain why it’s protagonist wants to revive the fallen woman, we fill in the blanks with whatever would make us want to go through all the effort to save them. This brings us to this post's main point: Thomas Was Alone.

Thomas Was Alone is an indie puzzle platformer created by Mike Bithell and released in 2010. The game follows a small rectangle named Thomas has he traverses each level, meets up with fellow quadrilateral characters with distinct names, designs and personalities as the player tries to solve puzzles in order to progress in the game. Except we’re not told any of this by Thomas himself. Thomas is just a red rectangle. No face, no voice, nothing even remotely distinct about him. The same is said for every other character, just a variety of squares that the player can move about. The details come from a voice over narration by Danny Wallace, who throughout the game will give random tidbits about the characters and that’s what gives them character. For example, the character of Claire is a giant blue square and is the only square that can survive in water, because of this she thinks she has super powers.

Because of this bare-bone information we’re given as well as like I said-the instant establishment between character and player-this game creates a group of loveable misfits with the absolute minimum needed, just a voice actor saying “This character is cynical, this one is insecure, this one fancies the other”. As the player, I fill in the blanks whenever there is no narration, I found myself imagining the conversations these characters would have during gameplay whenever I would screw up, or even just to fill time. It’s an interesting experiment and an affective one because at one point in the game, the roster of characters completely change and I found myself upset and missing the old group, even though it was basically the exact same game, just the squares were different colours and the narrator just says they’re different people.

This is the fantastic thing about Thomas Was Alone, it does so much with so little, a simple puzzle platformer ends up creating one of my favourite ensembles in gaming, simply because it knows the advantages of being a game. On top of that the game also has an incredible score David Housden, who provides an atmospheric-yet comforting melody throughout the game, made up of mostly techno sounds, again, embracing the nature of the story. Both through the plot of the game and medium itself. This is an astounding game, it highlights the best of what gaming is capable of, its method of storytelling, its solid gameplay and its mesmerizing score all make it a straight up work of brilliance. 9/10.

-Danny

The 13th Doctor Revealed!

This is without a doubt the most despicable thing the BBC has ever done. Making us watching tennis. Just dreadful. In all honestly the announcement of casting a new Doctor is kind of a big deal, I can’t think of any other franchise that treats their casting as an event, the latest instalment of one of the greatest fictional characters within the longest running science-fiction series of all time and how does the BBC try to make this as big as possible? By casting the first ever female Doctor in the show’s 54 year run. Jodie Whittaker, the 13^th Doctor.

Now this announcement has obviously caused a lot of extreme emotions both positive and negative, a lot of people being ecstatic over the casting calling it progressive, new and forward thinking, while the other side are people saying it’s pandering, forced and the oh so popular “Political correctness gone mad”. Two years ago I did a post discussing this possibility, could a woman ever actually play The Doctor? And frankly I came to the conclusion of: Yep. Because here’s the thing, it’s a fact within the fiction that Timelords can change their sex with regeneration, hell, they can change literally everything about them, the fact that it happens to have been a human looking person 14 times in a row is coincidence enough. It’s a pre-established point of the show, so yes, on a physical level it is possible. But the question on if a woman could portray The Doctor’s personality? Well, what are the main traits that every single Doctor so far has shared? The Doctor is very smart, very eclectic and very brave. Pretty much everything else is up for grabs and there are plenty of women out there who are able to portray all three of those things.

As for is Jodie Whittaker is a good choice for the role, I have no idea. I’ve only seen her in several things in the past, and granted while she was really good in those things, none of them screamed Doctor Who. But hey, the lady’s clearly got talent and must have done something to impress the producers to convince her she’s the best choice to play such an important character, so I have faith. Now just for fun let’s dispel some of the comments people have made who are against this casting!

“It’s just the writers giving into the feminists!” Riiiight, because Doctor Who has never been a forward thinking type of series with a protagonist who believes every life is important, views everyone as equals and goes against traditional out dates values.

“I’m going to stop watching the show now!” Oh trust me, the people at the BBC took that risk into consideration and they came to the conclusion that they can absolutely afford to lose you. Especially when I’ve seen dozens of people online say they’re going to either continue watching or even start watching the show because of this casting.

“She won’t be as good as Peter Capaldi!” ah the classic ‘The last Doctor was better’ routine. Because no one else has used this argument for literally every other Doctor in the past. Hell, Matt Smith was hated because he was too young, Peter Capaldi was hated because he was too old and now Jodie Whittaker is being hated because she’s a woman. All of this happens without a single frame of footage being shown, and every time, they’re proven wrong.

If I may be so blunt, if you really are a fan of Doctor Who and you’re upset about this casting then you were never really a fan to begin with. The Doctor taught people to be kind, to give people a chance, that anyone is capable of being the most extraordinary person ever, and would never judge someone based on petty prejudices or bull traditions. And honestly which audience do you think is more important? The little girls who see this and look like they’re ready to explode with excitement? Or the 40 year old man children who are scared of change and defend themselves with “I’m not sexist but—“.

Is Jodie Whittaker going to be good in the role? Only time will tell, and no-the 3 sentences she’ll get in the regeneration scene is not enough to judge her by. But frankly, if you’re going in with the notion that she’ll be bad just because she’s a woman and you’re not going to watch the show again, then good riddance to ya.

-Danny

Doctor Who "Finale" Review

I really want to complain about the fact that the twists of these episodes were spoiled for me. Especially because two of them were spoiled by their own fucking network. Fine, John Simm coming back as The Master was probably going to be hard to keep a secret, but did you have to put him in all the fucking promos? Same with the Cybermen, you could have kept that a secret, don't promote it because all the way through the first fucking half of this finale I kept thinking "When the hell are the Cybermen and The Master gonna show up?" and that's not a good thing...

...But god-fucking-dammit the rest of this finale was really damn good. I'm gonna skip ahead to the very end of this finale because that's what stood out to me, namely The Doctor sacrificing himself to defeat the Cybermen and then outright refusing to regenerate. Here's the thing, I'm usually very much against the idea of The Doctor being against the idea of regeneration. Because regeneration is always hard on the audience. A character who we love, an actor who brought so much to it and is now passing on the torch to a new era, and I always feel like The Doctor should embrace that change in order to help the audience embrace that change...but 12 says "Fuck that shit!" and you know what? I agree with him! Because this is the first Doctor in a very long time to not be born with a burden. 9, 10 & 11, all had the Time War still on their shoulders, the pain that caused, the sacrifices they had to make, in a way it defined them, their pain and how they chose to handle it. But 12? He was born with hope. Knowing he changed history, he saved Gallifrey. Hence why the season long theme for 12's first season was identity, trying to find out who he is when he's spent so long letting his pain define him. By this point The Doctor knows who he is, and he likes who he is, and he can do a lot of good as he is. But to regenerate now? For an entirely new man to be born out of sacrifice, out of the death of a good friend, and your best friend/enemy betraying you, even after all you did to help them. What kind of Doctor would be born out of that? One of rage, and self-pity, he'd go straight back to who he was after the Time War, and no way is he going through that again, even if this is how he dies, he dies on his terms (Minus the stars-which was a really good fucking line by the way).

Yet the episode continues, he lands on a strange planet where of all people he meets...The 1st Doctor!...Which would have been a really huge twist if this wasn't also spoiled for me. Not by the BBC, by the internet this time, lousy internet. But this is kind of a genius move, at least on a thematic level. The 12th Doctor is technically the first of a new generation cycle, his character is more based on Classic Who style writing, and he "died" defeating the Cybermen, just as the 1st Doctor "dies". As well as the fact that these are clean slated Doctors. No burdens, no major tragedies yet, just two grumpy old men exploring all of time & space. My hopes for this is that his time spent with the 1st Doctor (Played by David Bradley) will encourage him to embrace the regeneration. To guide him through it so he doesn't enter a new life with the damage of the prior one, but continues that trend of being a free Doctor.

Then there is Bill Potts, in what is possibly the last time we will ever see her, and to that I say OH GOD NO! Don't do this to us Moffat. Don't give us three whole seasons of one of the blandest companions in Doctor Who history, and then get rid of a legitimately interesting, entertaining and unique companion after just one season. Especially after a finale like this which pushed Pearl Mackie's acting abilities to 11, (Or should I say 12? Puns!). Her abilities to encompass emotions like paranoia, anger and despair were outstanding, we got to see sides of Bill that we've never seen before, but it was still balanced out with moments of levity where we got to see Bill's usual chipper self come through. Granted, if this is the last time we see Bill, at least she gets to go out on a happy ending, but I really don't want to lose this character just yet.

But this finale is special for another reason, that being this is the first ever multi-Master crossover, and it was every bit as psychotic, villainous and hilarious as you could imagine. John Simm and Michelle Gomez are brilliant together, every scene, every line of dialogue, every aspect of them that is both similar and different makes then entertaining to watch, hell, this entire finale could have just been them and the Doctor having a conversation, and it would have been the most riveting episode of all of television. What makes them great isn't just their similarities, but their differences. Missy-while still an insane nihilist-also more open-minded and thinks her options through, she isn't bogged down by pride and does what it takes to survive, even if that means working with The Doctor-who considering is supposed to be their greatest enemy and best friend, actually treats him like that, when The Master always treats him like just the former. The Master is also fuelled more by burning rage than Missy, the way she described missing that passion and aggression describes Simm's portrayal perfectly. Also, while we know The Master obviously isn't dead, let's be honest. Two Masters stabbing each other in the back, laughing maniacally as the world is about to end, is exactly how The Master should go out.

Overall this finale was...solid. I feel like a lot of the character writing was pitch perfect, and for someone like me, I think that's the most important aspect of any story, especially a series like Doctor Who which has some of the best written characters of all time. However a lot of what surrounds the characters in this episode didn't really appeal to me. The Cybermen never came across as a threat, the villagers The Doctor & Co were protecting I never cared about, and because of that a fair amount of this finale feels invalid. Those weren't people they were protecting, they were just the thing to keep safe. Because of that, my investment felt quite minimal for a fair portion of the finale, but like I said, when the focus was just on the main characters is when I was most interested.

I'm giving this finale a 7/10.

The season overall...well, let's reflect. The big positive that I take away from this season is obviously Bill, which in case you haven't figured out, is about 1000x better than Clara in nearly every way. Her natural excitable personality both in adventure and curiosity of the unknown made her instantly appealing, her out of the box nature of thinking made her a great match with The Doctor, the performance from Pearl Mackie was superb, and she was able to break the cycle of a Doctor's second companion feeling like "sloppy seconds". The Doctor of course is still great, after they finally worked out the kinks with the character in the prior season and were able to create a unique identity for Capaldi's version, they just carried that over here and it still works well. Nardole was a much better character than I assumed he would be, especially when his appearance in the first Christmas episode was a disaster.

However, the season as a whole, and even on an episode by episode basis, not much stood out. Almost all of the episodes ranged from "meh" to "good" with the only exception being 'Smile' which was a really bad episode. There were no stand out moments, positive or negative. Compare it to last season which I felt had so many moments of both. There were plenty of scenes, or even entire episodes that I could point to and say were fantastic or awful, and that just makes the series so much more fun to write about. But even more than that it means there is stuff I would want to come back to. Maybe this is another reason why I want Bill to come back for another season, because there aren't really any episodes this season that I care to return to, and I want her to have at least one episode with Bill where I can come back. Because of that, this season feels just...average.

This season I'm giving a 6/10.

-Danny