Marry Me - Cheap Thoughts

How nostalgic. A simple mid-budget rom-com starring two decently popular celebrities in hopes of entertaining audiences for just under 2 hours, a staple of a bygone era. Even giving itself the increased absurdity of its premise, Marry Me is a charming romp that fulfils the basic desires sought out within its genre. Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez have decent chemistry even if it’s a relationship that is intentionally tricky to pull off, they are meant to be from “completely different worlds and not fit together except surprisingly they do” and that’s actually pulled off quite well without question. The majority of the film consists of scenes with them simply bonding and building this slow relationship from the absurd starting point as they get to know each other, better each other and make on another happy as all healthy relationships should do.

That starting point if you’re unaware is that J-Lo plays an international celebrity (So herself) who was supposed to marry her equally famous partner live during a concert, however he is caught cheating minutes before, so in a state of panic, humiliation, and confusion, she picks out a random member of the audience to marry him instead. That man just happens to be our leading boy Owen Wilson, a social media hermit who has no idea who she is, he was only in attendance for the sake of his preteen daughter, and him also now being thrust into a state of confusion goes along with it and they will try to build a relationship from there, so she doesn’t seem too insane to the general public. If you can accept that wildly silly premise, then you’re likely in for a charming time.

Despite tonally being very inline with a 2000s romcom, it does still take a modern approach with its story, very aware of the presence of social media in our everyday lives, and how much of pop-culture is centred around it. It has the power to turn an average joe into an international celebrity overnight entirely by accident, but it also becomes something you are chained too and can dictate how you run your life, you’re not actually living your life for you, you live it for the views. Wilson’s character not being online makes him somewhat of a modern-day caveman considering how little he knows about pop-culture and how social interactions has changed. The film doesn’t delve too deep into this para-social nightmare, that’s not it’s place, it uses it as a tool to show the difference of worlds Wilson and Lopez lives.

It’s cute. What else could you want? A charming film for Valentine’s Day to guarantee you’ve got something romantic planned.

-Danny

Belle - Cheap Thoughts

Hosoda has always had an interesting perspective when it comes to the internet, not only by having a unique visual language to present the digital space but how he presents both the positive and negative aspects of this young system that has changed societal culture on an international scale. Belle is a story of how we present our online personas, in this universe everyone’s persona is crafted for them based on their physical features and their personal strengths, to give them a second life and a second chance, however that version of them is merely a reflection, a fabrication, to truly grow you have to accept the lesser sides of you and find ways to embrace, grow or forgive them. Suzu (Kaho Nakamura/Kylie McNeill) is a timid and awkward teenage girl unable to come to terms with a traumatic experience early on in life, however in the world of ‘U’ the online space she is able to become a worldwide celebrity due to her beautiful singing voice while also benefit from the anonymity the internet provides, to hide her pain. That is until she comes across a Beast (Takeru Satoh/Paul Castro Jr.) who wears his trauma on his sleeve and makes it his entire identity. For both of them to better themselves they have to help each other find a middle ground, to neither ignore your trauma or be consumed by it.

There’s an emotional honesty to Belle, a fragility in every aspect, from the character animation, the performances and the music. It doesn’t hold back the darker aspects but it is by no means a dark film. This master of tone and presentation is something Hosoda has handled in the best of his films, and he often builds on what he has made in the past. There are certainly similarities to be found between his and his other films (Most notably his 2009 hit Summer Wars, which in itself was him remaking his work on Digimon) and yet it never feels lacklustre of half-baked. Even when he copies his own work, he works to make it better from the last, and even then, no one is doing it like Hosoda, it’s a style contained to his own filmography that you just don’t tire of.

What does become lacklustre is when he lifts from work besides his own. You probably already caught on to the direct references between this film and Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, and no, he’s not just referencing the classic tale, but making direct parallels to specifically the 1991 version. While the basic homage works to create a framework and strengthen the themes of the film, there are times where it becomes more indulgent and distracting that it actually takes away from the film. When the audience is no longer just thinking about this film but thinking about another film made by entirely different people and wondering why they’re watching someone’s sci-fi fanfic about it. Thankfully these moments are only a handful, so it doesn’t detract too much, but it’s a noticeable distraction.

With all that being said, Belle is another wonderful feature from Hosoda, the waves of emotion that wash over you will leave you long after the credits, it lives up to its title as a beauty.

-Danny

Nightmare Alley - Cheap Thoughts

If you’re a surveyor of Guillermo Del Toro’s work for long enough, there is plenty to expect from him. He has a fascination with the macabre, to pull back the veil, to sympathise with it and bring it dimension. He finds beauty in the horrific, and with that talent he was able to take this story of a decrepit person, a manipulator and con-man, to have us see his life, his point of view and slowly witness his downfall and all those he would hurt along the way, and yet at no moment do you want to look away, bar the gore perhaps, but story-wise, it’s as enthralling as ever. Arguably this is the toughest sell of a character Guillermo has had to present. In the past it’s always been with very literal monsters but what do you do with a man? A broken man, to his core, his soul is poisoned and those who get close to him will only be poisoned in the process. He may have the handsome exterior and the charm of Bradley Cooper, but this man is more damaging than any other monster in Guillermo’s films.

Complimenting this wonderfully is the visuals, which of course should be no surprise to anyone that they are gorgeous, that Del Toro creates a modern-noir filled with dark shadows yet bright spotlights, a truly enthralling world and atmosphere that you become sucked into, you believe it’s real and you want to spend time there despite the nature of this world presented to be cold and cruel. Del Toro has transported us to worlds many a times and it is a talent that has not wavered in the slightest. There is nothing supernatural about what he offers us yet he is making magic happen on screen purely down to talent.

This is all very aggrandising of Del Toro’s talents but truth be told amongst his filmography this still could be seen as one of his weaker ones. Combining it’s length and it’s nihilistic content it’s certainly one of his less rewatchable ones, and everything stated above could easily be reworded to claim it’s more of the same, if you’re familiar enough with Del Toro’s work then this is hardly something that would reinvent the wheel. Then again why would you want to? He’s a master, one of the most talented filmmakers of our generation, him simply giving us more of the same is still leagues above what the majority are giving us. There is still challenge in there but it’s more so in the details than with the big picture. He brings out the best of his camera, his cast and his subject matter. To be standard is to be stellar, to ask for anything more feels selfish, it’s like asking a fish to be a better swimmer.

-Danny

Scream (2022) - Cheap Thoughts

Scream should not have made it this far. It was created to be a pastiche of slasher films of the 80s and 90s and yet somehow has stayed relevant through 4 decades despite the constant changes the horror genre has undergone in that whole time. Scream 5 (Let’s just call it that for clarity) continues this impressive winning streak. Satirising all modern aspects of horror such as the trend of ‘requels’, the concept of elevated horror, and toxic fanbases, Scream 5 is an unsubtle yet critical as its brethren while being one of the more violent of the collection, so basically everything you could want from a Scream film.

At this point in the meta-textual wormhole of self-referential storytelling the film has entered a state of immunity on being able to guess the killer, we’ve now reached a point where the most obvious suspect is the least obvious but that turns back around to make them the most obvious but has that been twisted again to make them the least obvious?…It is this type of thinking that only a franchise this deep into can get away with, and it’s reflected in the characters as once again everyone is a suspect because there is no such thing as too obvious or not obvious enough, yet once the film is over and the killer is revealed, you think back on how many clues were left out in the open to suggest the killer’s identity. In the meantime, it results in a lot of character pointing fingers at each other over the slightest suspicion, much like the audience.

An underrated aspect of the Scream franchise that honestly sets them apart from the same slasher films they satirize is they often have interesting ensembles of future victims. One of the elements of slasher films that made them entertaining was the characters were simply body bags to see get creatively dismembered, but Scream makes a habit of making them appealing, well developed and expressive, so the audience doesn’t actually want to see them get stabbed to death, bringing back that genuine sense of terror. Scream 5 might have the best ensemble of the bunch, giving them backstories, a variety of interests and a mix-match of personalities to make them all standout. Combine that with the return of the legacy trio of Syd Prescott (Nev Campbell) Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox) and Dewey Riley (David Arquette) who have been through this process so many times they know all the right moves to make and yet have never become less interesting or vulnerable because of it.

In fact, let’s take a moment to highlight Dewey, as out of the trio he gets the most screentime and has had the biggest changes since the last film. Dewey might be the best character in this whole series, he started out as the deputy of a small town who faced no real danger, only to be assaulted and traumatised consistently in each film; and yet, despite that, despite his naturally soft and awkward demeanour, despite the disability he developed from his injuries; he never runs away, he always makes protecting others his priority and will take on as many Ghostfaces as he has to. With this film probably putting him through the ringer more than others, with each other film showing his life slightly improving after the events of the prior, this is the one that has him at his emotional rock-bottom from the beginning, just adding another level of disaster to his life, and yet what does he do when push comes to shove? He takes what he’s learnt in the past, he risks his life, and he protects others at all costs. God bless you Deputy Dewey.

There is no such thing as a bad Scream film, and yet here we are 5 films deep, with new directors and a mostly new cast, and yet this feels like the only one that can go toe to toe with the original. It hits all the beats you want while also staying relevant, adapting for the times and being a suspenseful, violent massacre. Great film to start the year.

-Danny

The Matrix: Resurrections - Cheap Thoughts

It’s not often a director is cornered and forced to make a movie that it comes out well. The studio was set on making a 4^th Matrix film despite the definitive ending of the last one, and Lana Wachowski coming onboard to try and make something of it is hardly the ideal circumstances you’d want, and yet…

Lana Wachowski has yet again proven her talents for visually enchanting films and the stubbornly anti-subtle messaging all her prior films are known for, and no that second point is not an insult, subtlety is optional, not necessary to telling a good story. The Matrix Resurrections is at times a bitter film, a film that wishes it did not exist and is very adamant that you-the audience-know that. It is critical of the production, the fanbase and even its own creators. It stares into the abyss of “content creation” and just before it falls into it, the film is saved, much like how Neo is saved, by reminding them what they stand for. Wachowski refuses to fall into that pit, she loves these characters, and she loves this franchise, she would never corrode them with the cynicism of Hollywood.

While the prior films became obsessed with their own mythology, the wisdom that comes with age and separation reminds you of what’s important. Neo & Trinity, not just symbols, not just roles, but two people who love each other, who fight for each other above all else. Yes, true love does in fact save the day, and if you find that too corny or on the nose then good god what franchise were you watching? This is a series that has embraced sincerity and style since day one, in the past that may have been aimed towards philosophy, these days they’ve changed direction to be entirely about love. The romance of Neo & Trinity was never the strongest element of the original trilogy, it was mostly side-lined to allow the world-building to take over, but looking back, a decent portion of Reloaded and Revolutions was showing that these two view each other as more important than any war, any philosophy or any duty, this film just allows that element to take centre-stage, and with the beauty that is Keanu Reeves and Carrie Ann-Moss – Two people who have aged like the finest of wines – we have the most emotionally expressive film in the series.

All of this is with barely touching upon the visual component, and that’s what Wachowski is best known for. At this point in her career making stylish & comprehensive action scenes are her bread and butter, she makes it look easy. One of the best living directors to put their money to good use in making gorgeous blockbusters where everyone has unique looks under gorgeous lighting with badass action, making everyone look like the coolest person on the planet.

Resurrections is not a subtle movie, nor does it want to be, it refuses to compromise, to withdraw or to change itself for your sake. It is a visual delight and earnest down to its bones. It is aware of its past and what is has to prove and yet it does not care, it would throw all that away for the two people it loves and will not apologise for it.

-Danny

Spider-Man: No Way Home - Cheap Thoughts

Spider-Man is important to me. Let’s clear that up straight away, because to discuss this film without knowing my connection to the character feels like leaving out important context. I love Spider-Man, he might be the first fictional character I ever loved, all the way back to the 90s animated series and the original Raimi films. Heck, I’m a big defender of the Webb films, always have been, always will be, and yet I am one of the spoilsports who has to say I have never enjoyed the MCU Spider-Man films, on almost any level, they are poorly produced, bland looking and bad adaptations. So now we’ve reached a point where all these adaptations are clashing together and to break it down is still somewhat a behemoth of a task, let alone avoiding spoilers, but these are the cards we are dealt.

Spider-Man No Way Home is the first time I have ever truly seen Tom Holland as Spider-Man, as a person who puts others before himself, who has to make great sacrifices expecting nothing in return, who certainly stumbles and faulters but always gets back up and always does the right thing. This is no longer Iron Man Jr who inherits wealth, technology and prosperity from others, but one who has to fight and save others using only what he has to offer. He is put through the emotional ringer, but this is a story of Spider-Man trying to save everyone, and do the right thing, to understand the moral with great power must also come great responsibility.

If you’re aware of the returning characters from other films then you’ll be happy to know they are all wonderfully handled, it never feels like pure fanservice, but instead to offer a chance of closure to those who never had it before. Both the Raimi films and Webb films ended on disappointing notes but they also weren’t meant to be where those stories ended, this is where those characters get to finally have the proper goodbyes they always deserved. Even as I attempt to be a cynical critic, I can’t help but feel joy from what this film offers me.

Course that still won’t stop me from being said cynical critic, because boy does this film still look bad! Watts as a director has certainly improved his visual sense with each passing film, and there are certainly big special effects moments where the pre-vis team developed some entertaining and creative choreography mixing characters with different powers fighting each other, the conveyor belt release schedule of these films means the CGI just becomes worse and worse, no effect looking complete, everyone is rubbery and weightless, they move as fast or as slow as a computer tells them to with no consistency. It’s amazing that it’s reached a point where they achieve an uncanny valley effect on basic backgrounds because it’s all shot on greenscreens and never real locations. Even worse when it comes to the more intimate fight scenes Watts has no sense of editing or where to place the camera. When it’s real, you can’t get a good view of it and when it’s not real, it’s never felt hollower.

Glad I got that out of my system, but truth be told I enjoyed this movie, it’s the first of the MCU Spidey films that I enjoyed while watching it, and I am genuinely excited about where they’ll take this character in the future. I may be a cynic but even I couldn’t stop my heart growing three times while watching it. Tis the season.

-Danny

West Side Story - Cheap Thoughts

How does he do it? How does Spielberg make it look this easy? It’s hard to say West Side Story is doing much new - after all it is an adaptation of a 1961 movie based on a 1957 stage show based on a 16^th century play – And yet, somehow it feels like we now have the perfected version of that story, future versions can rest before they try, they’ll never make a version this visually beautiful, perfectly cast or tonally impeccable. It’s times like this where the obvious flaw of trying to discuss a visual medium via text is totally inept, as just saying every single frame is truly a painting is not something that can be easily backed up, you just have to take in on faith, but it’s true, this might be the best looking film of the year, each shot made to look as beautiful as can be, exploding with colour, depth and movement.

None of this is to say the original film was lacking in this, but it is hard to compliment this film without slightly feeling like a back-handed compliment to the original, so consider this review a glowing recommendation for both films, they’re great. Though that being said (Here we go) there are some areas of the original that had clear room for improvement, the main one being a predominately white cast in a film about the racial tensions between a white gang and a Puerto Rican gang, anyone who argues that’s not an issue with the original is being intentionally ignorant. Secondly is the tone the films strive for, it’s not an easy balance to hit, trying to be a story about violent gangs who metaphorically express themselves through ballet, it can come across as silly, and while your mileage may vary on the original, don’t be surprised if some find it tonally confused, this one strikes a much finer balance between the two. It never feels jarring when it goes from bloody assault in poverty drenched streets to colourful dance numbers is seamless, again, it’s baffling how easy Spielberg makes it happen.

Aside from that there’s not that much more to discuss, most of what was good in the original is still present here, the songs are wonderfully varied, catchy and poignant. The story is layered and one of social injustice, dealing with racial discrimination as well as the abandonment of the disenfranchised with two sides of victims being manipulated into viewing each other as the enemy rather than the system as a whole. It even carries over the same flaws of the original, though to be fair it’s more of a burden from the original Romeo & Juliet than it is the musical, that being the big climactic fight happens and then you realise there’s still 30-40 minutes left of the film and that third act can drag in contrast.

If there’s still some ambiguity from this review on whether or not you should see this film? Once more to make it clear: Go see this film!

-Danny